Tuesday 1 October 2013

Love for Pets

How many different types of pets do you adopt? You would decide to raise pets for different reasons. One simple reason could be that you simply love certain types of animals. You may grow them as a living ornament, to beautify your home. You may do it willingly or unwillingly because you inherited one. Or because the family next door owns one or you reckon its the latest trend to own one. For me, the most compelling reason would be that, they often turn out to be better companions than people. Why? because they are honest, their lives are devoid of stress, issues, problems and as long as they are fed and cares for, you will be their world. And they are not afraid to show it.

I used to have an aquarium at home, full of beautiful fish. They would swim round the clock, and watching them do so, has a calming effect on you. Its kind of a meditation. I had a dog too. She was the most playful, yet the most amazingly loveable creature I have ever known. As time passed, I lost all the fish I had in the aquarium, and my dog passed away due to an illness. I was distraught with grief when I found out that my dog had died. But I didn't feel nearly as sad when my fish died one after another. It bring out an interesting observation. Why do people feel differently when one pet dies, as opposed to another? After all, they are all living things with lives equally precious. I suppose it has something to do with the degree of attachment you had for the animal, just as it is for another human. 

I have no pets of any kind now. But I yearn to adopt a dog. But there are mental shackles that I find hard to break through. Dog's lives are much smaller than that of an average human. Hence, I don't want to go through the sorrow and pain I went through when my previous dog left me for good, if I live long enough. Other thing I have experienced is that having a dog, actually any pet for that matter, limits the time you can stay away from home. You can no longer enjoy those weeks-long holidays away from home. There are facilities now where you can rent a kennel and pay people to look after your dog. But, let alone it being a very costly option, if you truly loved your dog, your enjoyment will be hampered by the constant reminder that your pet is in some enclosure with hardly any room to move, unsure of the nature of treatment it gets from people who have no genuine affection towards it. I wouldn't do that if I had a child, and hence I would be able to consider that for a dog that I would love nearly as much.

There are some things in life that you cant get, no matter how much you want them, unless you choose to go against your principles.


Image Source - http://www.imgion.com/images/01/Pets-With-Sanek.jpg

Wednesday 18 September 2013

How do you know when you are in love?

Love as I know it, is a feeling that starts from a 'like' (not the social media thumbs up) and then based on what happens therein-after, develops in to a feeling like no other that sediments at the very depth of your inner self. You feel as though you have won every battle life has to offer and has the strength to fight a million more and all other clouds hovering over your life seem absolutely insignificant. You become proud, but not in a bad way, you radiate pleasancy and confidence. You feel as though you are living in a different dimension where every sight that catches your eye, every noise you hear, has an uncanny connection to the one you have developed these feelings for. This feeling could be described in million other ways; thus have been tried by millions of movie makers and song writers since the beginning of time.

But how does something that feels so true, so good, more often than not end up in disaster, shattering ones dreams, ruining lives? Its a total eclipse of the heart, as perfectly versed in the multi-platinum certified power ballad sung by the brilliant Bonny Tyler.

Is this a result of not knowing why you love someone? Do you ever stop and question yourself that? Is there a fine line between liking someone and loving, that you don't think too much but embrace it and give it all you have got. What if all those wonderful feelings that you experience are for all the wrong reasons? Reasons that are not going to be true for too long, or are based on deceitful behaviour and actions by those you have begun to love? This leaves you confused, heartbroken and at times regretted to say the least.

A reason for the confusion could be that the person you love has changed over time. They evolve, grow up, become more mature. Only thing that is constant and consistent in this world is change.  But in some cases they change in to a being, that is very different from the ones you liked and eventually fell in love with. In certain cases they have not changed, but just that the mask has fallen off, revealing their true self. You also change, just like everybody else, but if you change the core characteristics that makes you who you are; loose the core values you were built up on; it makes you an entirely different person. I read elsewhere that, if your partner changes over time, start to love the new him/her. But what if they shed all those characteristics you based your love on? In some cases, you might end up loving the changed person more than you loved the old one. But what happens if the person develops qualities you do not admire and appreciate? Would you no longer love them? If they truly love you and respected what you value, would they have changed in such a way?

You end up heartbroken when that person who you fell in love with, the person who promised to love you back, does not appear to do so any more. Why I used the word 'appear', is because they may not walk away from a relationship because they have lost feelings for you, but its actually because there is enough reason for them to walk away now, than hurting you later down the relationship. Most relationships are plagued by external forces and depending on what stage in your life you are in, can be difficult to control or counter. They move on. They expect you to move on too. Sometimes you do, sometimes you don't. But if they ever truly loved you, they can never cease to love you. There is a place in their heart, you will forever occupy, and they will always guard it so carefully and never let anyone near it.

If you walked away from someone who you truly loved, there is no doubt that you still miss them in your life. You grow older, and presumably wiser. You learn that there is always a way you could achieve something if you give it all you have. No force would be powerful enough to stop you from getting what you want in life and it applies to true love too. Now you start to regret. You could have had the one you always loved, and not left them heartbroken and stranded.  You might still stand a chance to win them back. Perhaps they would be willing to accept you, or it could be that they have lost trust they had for you and hate you for what you did. Or you may be at a point of no return; or they.

Please do accept my apologies, as I may have digressed from the actual answer to the original question. But I sincerely hope you find love in its most truest and unconditional form, and may you have strength to negotiate all forces, big and small that threaten to jeopardize it.

Tuesday 17 September 2013

Whats in a song?

A good song to me is not just something that has a set of meaningfully interwoven words, sung to an appealing melody. For me, every song has a vivid memory associated with it.

When a song falls within my radar of taste, I tend to listen to it over and over again, till its literally engraved in my mind, so much so that the fictitious music player in my head keeps playing it on repeat. Surprisingly, the mind also seems to subconsciously associate the song with the person who holds a special place in your heart at the time. And every time I listen to such a song, it takes me far back to that time and the relationship I had with that person. The verses of happiness, sadness, guilt and anger entailed in these songs, tells me how those people would have felt during that relationship and its aftermath.

Given the turmoil my life is in right now, all memories that are brought forth are of utter grief, pain, guilt and regret. I wish I can go back in time and make amends and feel the feelings I felt, have those people around me that I thoughtlessly left behind, the conversations only we understood, the jokes that were shared, relive the memories I now treasure, experience that time in my life I seem to have lost grasp of forever and above all, to apologize. Perhaps my actions are irreversible, or am I afraid to even try? Only time will tell. I guess its these plethora of feelings that a song describes, that makes it even more beautiful and meaningful.